Time to get back.......

Hey there.......well 9 weeks back on Weight Watchers and I am down 10.6 lbs, it's a start and I am happy with that! Especially when I think all I want to lose may be another 25 lbs......doesn't seem that hard now does it??? Yeah it does! Slow and steady, that's how I am doing it! I wish I had the motivation that Jen has, but, not there, maybe someday! I think giving up chocolate for Lent has been a big help, every time I want to cheat, I can't because it usually involves chocolate! Looking forward to Easter Sunday so I can splurge a little......brownies and chocolate chip mint ice cream is definitely dessert for me that day!!!! That's all for now......be back soon!

A long time away....

Well, it's been too long - way, way too long - since any of us have updated here....and the scale shows that!

It's amazing what happens when you enter total denial - especially when you know better.  In early January, Jess joined WW's and was having success on the new P+ plan, so Laurie and I joined on 1/30/11.  My initial weight was no suprise - I had gained a lot from the time I stopped blogging in September.  But, coming back here, and seeing my old weights, truly hurt.  I started WW's at 191.6!!!  That is now my highest weight, non-pregnant, ever - not a goal I was shooting for.  As of Sunday, our 3rd wi, I was down to 185 - so, a loss of 6.6 pounds in 3 weeks - which is really excellent for me.  Today, at home, I'm at 184.2 - and I'm thrilled.  But, I had just said to Laurie on Sunday that what I struggle with is mentally beating myself up that right now all I am doing is fighting to get myself to a weight that I was at just a few short months ago - that pisses me off.  I know....I do know....that I need to let it go, I know I'm on the right track, it's what I'm doing now that counts....blah, blah, blah....I'm still pissed.  My lowest weight while doing this blog, was, I think, 181.6 - though I've lost over 7 lbs, I'm still almost 3 pounds heavier than that now - so, yes, that pisses me off.  I think it's partly because I wasn't at this new high for long (thank god) so the reality of it never had time to sink in.  I know from tracking that my lowest weight in all of 2010 was 180.8 - there is a part of me that won't really feel successful or proud until I'm below that - stupid, I know.  I could be going in the other direction, but I'm not - I'm working hard.  But, I'm still pissed.  Right now my only goal is to hit my 10% (172.6) which I hope to do in early April - it will be over 3 years since I've been down that low and I have a closet full of clothes waiting for me.  But, first I need to get past the mental block of being pissed off...

On another note, what I am proud of is the gym!  I have consistently been going to the gym for 7 weeks now - through snow, sleet, rain, 8 degree temperatures, etc., - I have been getting up at 5:20 am and hitting the gym (6:45 on weekends).  I go 5 to 6 times a week and hit the treadmill for 35 to 45 minutes (with one long endurance day on Sunday's - usually up to an hour or more at a steady pace).  The rest of the days I do intervals (alternating between a fast pace and a high incline, and now I've added running).  Next week I'll start the C25K program - we are doing the Revlon 5k in memory of my sister on 4/30 and my goal is run at least half, if not more.  Two days a week I do strength training and every time I do stretching and sit ups (ugh!).  It's down right odd how much I'm enjoying it - while I hate getting up, I love going at that time of day and I always feel better after I go - even my knee pain and headaches have subsided a lot!

Lastly, I wanted to comment on the new P+ plan - sometimes I hate reading the ww's boards because I just don't get it - there are people who are miserable on the new plan and say that they are not losing or even - gah! - gaining!  I just don't get how that's possible.  To maintain my weight or gain, I know I was eating over 2,000 calories a day - now I'm eating anywhere from 1200 to 1500 - so, I'm losing.  And losing well!  How are they gaining?  No matter what your points, it comes down to calories in vs calories out.....!  But, I like it - I hated momentum - 22 points a day felt like nothing - I felt like I was always playing games to stretch it out.  Now, I feel like I have enough to be satisfied - yes, some of my favorites went up in points....so, guess what?  I need to make better choices!  I can't exsist off all carbs now - and that's such a good thing!  I always eat my AP's and most of my WP's (I try to leave 20 or so but that doesn't always happen) and my average weight loss has been 2.2 pounds a week - ta da!!  Now that rocks!  I am usually not such a big "loser" - the one time I was really succesful on ww's my average was only 1.7 lbs a week - so, I do expect this to slow down a bit - but for now, I'm thrilled to wi and I really like the new plan.  I used to have my 100 calorie coffee cakes for breakfast everyday - at 1 pt, what a bargain!  But, of course, just because they are 100 calories it doesn't mean they were 100 of the right kind of calories!  But, at 3 points now, I haven't had them since I started.  So, now breakfast is oatmeal, or a light Thomas WW english muffing with a tsp of peanut butter - 4 points and soooooo much better of a choice!  :) 

5k Walk today

Well, I am getting ready to do this walk and I actually think I will beat my time of 52.00.09 from last year.......nice to have dreams! I think I am about 10 lbs heavier than last year and haven't walked more than an average of 5,000 steps a day! Just hoping I don't make a total ass of myself today! They are changing the route a little and doing more time on the track.....you know I will be watching the time as I walk (RUN) on the track!!! Well, good luck to me and I will post how I do!!! Miss you guys......we really need to get back to this!!!!

It's Hump Day...

And boy, what a hump it feels like today. Usually my weeks fly by. This one, however, not so much. It is draggggggggggggggging.

This morning I weighed myself, as I do every morning. Yes, I know this brings up the argument "You shouldn't do it everyday." "You should only weigh yourself once a week." But, I find weighing myself everyday helps keep me on track. When I see the numbers going down everyday, that gives me the push I need to eat well and exercise that day, to keep the momentum going. However, today kind of made me EH. Yes, I was down 8 oz. from yesterday. And, as many will say, at least it's not a gain. But, it's only 8 oz. To me, that's just EH.

I blame the M&Ms yesterday. It's their fault (not mine for eating them). But, I started PMSing, and they were there, and they were just what I needed. But, after seeing the 8 oz loss, today I feel like I don't need them so much. I need to lose the weight, not have yummy little chocolate candy coated deliciousness... STOP!!!

Oh, and 2 down this week for the elliptical! Did my 20 minutes, AND I kicked up the intensity a bit. Tonight I think I may try and extra 5 minutes!

Goooooooooooooooooal!

No, I'm not trying to get a rousing game of soccer going. I am finally setting realistic (I think) goals for myself in this weight loss thing.

Goal 1 - Do the elliptical for 20 minutes 5 days this week. Last week I was able to do 3 days (in a row) and was mad at myself for not doing more. So, we are going for 5 this week. Not unrealistic...

Goal 2 - Lose 100 lbs by 10/05/11. That will be 1 year from my wedding, and it is 1 year and 8 days from now. I think if I really put my mind to it I can get there (or pretty close).
There you go... My goals.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to lose I go!

TGI... OH WHAT'S THE USE TODAY

So, yesterday we had our "Birthday Luncheon" at work, which makes it very hard to be good. I started at the end of the table, doing well by taking 1/2 a plate of salad (dressing already on it, but what can you do). But, as I moved down things got worse and worse... ziti parm (took a little), chicken piccatta (small piece), eggplant something cheesey (took a small little square), 1 meatball. I didn't even take a roll! So , I thought I was doing OK. THEN came the Coldstone ice cream cake. Well, that was a small piece as well (splitting 1 cake between 40 people tends to do that). But still...

So then, we went right to the grocery store after work (did VERY well there, for the most part. Eric on the other hand...). It seemed like a good idea, but that prolonged dinner (and I was REALLY excited to make my spaghetti squash). So, when we got home it turned into "rush and find something." I did ok there too, with chopped veggies. But... afterward is a different story. I SWEAR those apple cider donuts were taunting me. I had to shut them up by eating them. GRRRRRRR!

And, to make matters worse, I didn't do the elliptical. Now, this was the first night after doing it 3 in a row, so the break was deserved. But, I am completely attributing the lack of exercise to eating crappily. When I know I am getting on there, I know that I should be eating healthy to go with it (down 3 lbs since Monday, BTW!). But last night, knowing I wasn't going on didn't make me think to be healthy. There is a major change I need to make!

Fast forward to today... Up .2lbs from yesterday after eating junk. Not horrible. Of course, I am trying to be better today. I am a little disappointed in myself as I have already consumed an approximate 20 pts. But, there is still the rest of the day to be better. AND, I am getting on that elliptical tonight if it kills me!!!!

It's the Little Things...

I need to make this quick, but I am proud. After only using our elliptical machine twice, for 5 then 10 minutes, I was pretty bummed. Why did I waste my money on this is I couldn't use it. Well, shockingly, I COULD! I just had to put some effort in and wrap my head around it. I finally did that yesterday... And stayed on for 20 minutes! That may not seem like a lot, but that is 20 minutes more exercise than I was doing this time last week or the week before. And, it didn't suck. AND, I felt awesome after. AND, I want to do it again tonight (while watching the Biggest Loser, I might add.

It's the little things... But put together those little things will make a big difference!!

Not sure what to think.......

So I get on the scale this morning and it reads 182.5, not sure if I can believe it. OK, I haven't weighed in for 3 weeks but I haven't really been watching what I eat, except for the past week, I have been pretty good. I started my new gym routine and I seem to like it, waking up at my normal time, going to the gym and then getting to work an hour later than normal. The bad part was going to the gym yesterday, 20 minutes on the treadmill and then 20 minutes working on my arms and shoulders then having to bowl last night. By the third game that ball was so heavy it wasn't funny but I think I bowled a 147 that game.......not bad!!!! Well, I will keep doing what I have been doing and the scale will tell if this weeks weigh in was a fluke!!!

Anybody out there....??

Sorry, I know that I've been MIA for awhile - with the start of school/work, I've been in a funk and that has most definitely affected my game plan.  I don't like the job I have, which I took after getting laid off from the worlds most perfect job for a working Mom, but this year I especially hate what I'm doing (after a great year last year).  So, I've been wallowing for awhile.  I took this job in hopes that it would lead to an office position, but I don't think that will ever happen and I think it's time to look for something else - but, then that brings up all sorts of issues, like I don't want to work full time yet and what do I about the summer and school breaks?  So, do I just deal with being bored, miserable and making no money because it's better for Con in the long run?  I don't know.  But, I hate dreading going to work, I hate people watching me to make sure PA stuff doesn't interfere with my job (which it always does) and losing the flexibility I had last year IF PA stuff did interfere.  180 days of work doesn't sound like a lot, but it is when you are unhappy....  So, I've been depressed and miserable and that has equalled not watching what I've been eating and no walking.  I don't know what to do about facing a miserable year, but I do know that sabotaging my own plan isn't really productive.

So, moving on - time to get back on track.  But, where the heck is everyone else?  No updates, no reports, no weigh in's....hello????   Ka', how have you been doing - and where is your victory post about your shopping experience?  Laurie - weigh in?  How are you doing??  Jess - have you gotten started with South Beach yet?  Any weigh in's??

C'mon, post - share- encourage!!!  Let's go!  Hmmm....we should meet to walk, too, especially now that it's supposed to cool off....we could always go to track one night, right???

As Conor used to say "How you doin'?"  :)  Let's motivate!! 

Quote "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten"

So, unless this is the best you want, it's time to shake it up!  :)

PS

This may be TMI but... I pulled my pants up and down without unbuttoning them today! That is my gauge on doing well. When I am losing they slide up or down without the aid of the button. If I am staying/gaining I must button/unbutton.

YAY!

URG!!!!!!

I have been stressing a lot lately. That means I have been stress eating a lot lately. I have been sad a lot lately. That means I have been emotionally eating. A few good things have happened lately, which means I have been celebrating lately.

These are things I need to work on getting in check. A cookie may make me feel better for that moment, but will not in the long run. Actually, that damn cookie winds up causing me more stress and sadness down the road. And whatever I am celebrating tends to be overshadowed by the "Uh, I am not fitting into anything and have nothing to wear" feeling.

I have been getting myself ready to start doing the South Beach Diet. It may sound weird to have to get yourself "ready". But, there are so many things I need to start incorporating in, and just as many that I need to take out, of my diet at first that it actually takes some planning. Sitting down and making a menu for the first two weeks (a throwback to my mom!) was fun and exciting and actually got me pumped to start. However, I have this stupid mindset that I MUST get rid of. It keeps telling me (especially when we go out) "Oh, well eat what you want now because the diet starts on Sunday!" Why do I sabotage myself like that? Why give myself more work to do.

And that makes me sad too... Think I'll have... A CUP OF TEA! :)

The more things change...

The more they stay the same....and that's where I am now, staying the same.  I am momentarily feeling frustrated and discouraged, but the saner part of me will soon take over and commence with pep talks, etc.  But for now, I'm annoyed - no change on the scale from last week.  Argh.  Argh. Groan. Whine.  I know the biggest problem is coming back from vacation, no matter how small, and getting back into a routine.  I didn't track everything and I haven't walked all week.  I can come up with a 1,000 excuses but excuses won't get the job done - and you know what?  I know better.  Much better.  I've been here before.  I will say that one issue for me is counting calories - after years of WW's and thinking in points, it's been hard for me to adjust to calories.  The program that I use gives me 1,376 calories a day for a weight loss target of 1.5 lbs per week.  If I exercise, I can eat the calories burned if I want (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't).  Those calories go fast.   For example, one day last week I had my coffee (with real milk), a package of hostess 100 cal crumb cakes at about 9, cheerios with 1% milk at around 11:30, a tablespoon of pb on light wheat bread around 2 pm, and a package of hostess 100 calorie cup cakes at around 4:30 - eating every few hours keeps me from feeling hungry and it doesn't seem like it was alot - but, that was was almost half my calories for the day, leaving me with about 650 for dinner and night snacks (because I am a night snacker and need to leave some calories for that).   So, I need to think of my calories like a bank and think of ways to make smaller withdrawals (use less calories).  Of course, I do know that fruit and veggies would be less calories and more filling, but I'm still a work in progress there - I can't force myself to eat what I don't like, that would only make this whole process so much harder.  I can keep trying, though, and I will.

So much of weight loss is mental and can be such a head game.  But, I will say that I went out with some co-workers and one, who is a few years older than me, has been doing WW's and working out at the gym religiously - she looks AMAZING.  Everyone was complimenting her on how awesome she looked.  And you know what?  I am willing to admit that I am vain enough to want to be her - I want those commpliments and I want to feel proud of what I've accomplished.  And that is just one more thing that will keep me on this path - yes, good health is the real payoff, but a "wow, you look amazing" never hurts!!  :)

A little better..........

Well, I will say it wasn't my best eating week but also not the worst. I have been feeling miserable the last 2 days, (summer allergies, cold......who knows) so there was no walking. On the good side......I did lose weight this week. Eventhough my eating wasn't great I was watching portion control!!!! Lost 1.5 lbs, no the trick is to keep it off, lose a little more and not gain any back! Luckily my birthday is next Friday, so after I weigh myself I can indulge that day and get back on track on Saturday!!! I see a drink and cake in my future!!!! Well, I hope you all had good weeks as well!!!

Short but sweet....

Well, we are already home from vacation - so short, but so wonderful!  I did jump on the scale today and it says that I am up 2 lbs but I am not concerned - first, that time of the month decided to arrive yesterday (sorry, TMI for any guys reading this - but, hey, get 5 women together and this is what you are going to get!)  Second, I didn't really eat that off track and we walked our butts off - my steps since Thursday are:

Thursday         11,253    (3006 aerobic)
Friday             16,288    (5153 aerobic)
Saturday          18,512    (6398 aerobic)
Sunday            15.511    (6199 aerobic)
Monday           10,729    (4177 aerobic)

So, if anything, I am at least proud of all the walking we did!  I know the scale will work itself out by WI in on Friday.  I am not totally on track for my first goal and that does concern me a little bit, so I need to find a way to kick things up a notch.  Overall, though, vacation was what it should have been and I am good with that.  I think I might go to the track tonight to walk, if anyone wants to come along...  :)  Have a great day, make good choices and smile because you know you are in control and a month from now, will be celebrating how successful you've been!

purging....the closets.

Glad everyone has enjoyed their vacations. I wish we could keep Summer here a few weeks more. I totally love the warm weather & sunshine. Not looking forward to the colder weather, snow and being trapped in the house. (Yes that's the reason we're starting to think about making a move South)

This past week was a successful one for me. 2.8 lbs down. Hate dealing with the point whatever. So I just round it down. This makes my total so far 86 lbs.

I've promised myself that at 90 lbs I will once again purge my wardrobe. This time of all my size 26/28 shirts that now hang on me like a flag from a pole. Now I'm entering a situation though where I will not have very much to chose from. I've worn that size for so long that there isn't much else in the drawers. So my dear friends I ask that you not think I'm wearing the same smelly shirt over and over. I promise it will be clean, but I don't intend to go on a big shopping spree just yet. Not planning on staying in my now size 16 (ish) shirts for all that long. Size 16 was my goal for my b'day, but with some luck (and very hard work), I'll blow right by that size by then. Now if only my thighs & butt would get on board with this plan....LOL

~Karen

Vacation depression

Well back from vacation and depressed. Being in Florida where it is friggen hot and humid wasn't able to do as much walking as I would like.......so I am back to my weight that I started with! I also missed not being on the beach and getting tons of beach walks in!! I gained 3 lbs this vacation.......I ate, I drank, I snacked and I totally enjoyed myself until I got on the scale. So now back to the drawing board..........and start all over! Went to the supermarket yesterday and got healthier choices than I normally do, apple slices, fat free jello, pineapple and banana's for Mark and salad. Hoping to get more walking in and maybe I will actually get to the gym! I really want to get a bicycle and start riding that and then work myself up to riding it to work.....3 miles, I should! Going to get to the farmers market and buy some straw, blue and rasberry's and make some frostee's......not smoothies because I do not like yogurt, just berries and ice cubes!!! Well, looking forward to a better week next week!

Weigh in and adios...

Well, the weigh in for today was that I was down a pound.  I am happy with that but sometimes I feel like a turtle in the land of rabbits....I do know that in the end, the turtle going slow and steady does win the race.  I only get frustrated because I also know that the beginning is where you lose the the quickest - so, if I'm already losing slow, what will it be like a few months from now?  I'm happy, trust me - I'd rather see the scale move downward, no matter how much, then not at all - or...horrors...move up!  But, some people lose 5 lbs in a week - I can't seem to do it in three weeks!  But, being honest, I know that I also thwart my own progress - not tracking yesterday because I was so busy, not walking the past two days, etc.

But, moving onward and upward (well, in this case *downward*), we are leaving this afternoon for a few days at the beach.  I'm not worried about staying on course on vacation.  First, it's vacation - I'm not going to stress.  Second, I plan to be very active - swimming, walks on the beach, etc.    The worst part for me will be drinking - but, again, it is vacation and a drink or two is going to happen.  We'll see where the scale is Tuesday and go from there.  Fingers crossed for good weather and a fun time - we haven't been away since 2006 so we really need this.  My son is so excited he couldn't go to sleep last night!  :)   Also fingers crossed that my *girls* (our two labs) are okay - I hate leaving them home when we go away (yes, I'm *that* kind of dog mom!) but I know we have lots of people checking on them and they are truly happier here than in a kennel.

Okay, gotta run - I've had my 10 minute root touch up on for about 30 minutes now so lets hope my hair is not orange!  :)  Have a great weekend!!

Reality Check

Just looking in the mirror, or trying to squeeze into my jeans should have been a reality check. But, as you all know, it wasn't. There was excuse after excuse, and "good" reasons, and anything else you could think of for not taking care of myself. But all of those excuses have kept me at 260 lbs. for awhile. And none of them were worth it really.

But, I finally got my reality check. My doctor called to tell me that my blood work showed that I have high cholesterol. Now, this shouldn't really be a shock. Actually, it wasn't, really. I see what I eat everyday. I know what I do and don't do physically. So, I figured that it would be high. But hearing the actual words come out of her mouth struck something in me.

So I went out and walked today. I honestly didn't watch what I ate all that well. But I did something physical. It wasn't long and it wasn't far, but I did it. And that made me happy.

I also ordered the books to start the South Beach Diet. THAT made me very happy. Not only for the weight loss, and controlling the cholesterol, but because it's a start to something good. I have tried many others that have worked here and there, but nothing significant. My doctor had suggested this, since it is also a good diet for someone with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome).

I haven't been this excited, or happy (or tired, to be honest) in awhile. But guess what... This reality check was sooo worth it. :)

all eyes on you

Ok what do you do when you're going to a "party" type setting. Everyone knows you're on a diet and you know that when you sit down to eat all eyes are on you and what's on your plate and how much you're actually putting in your mouth. It really sucks!!!

I make the mistake every time of taking food and then only taking a bite out of it. I feel so bad for two reasons:

1. People see what's on my plate and assume that I AM actually going to eat all of it. Then they doubt my sincerity to this journey that I'm on (trying not to call it a diet anymore). Talk does have a way of getting back to you on what Great Aunt Lucy said about how much of her lasagna you piled on your plate....sigh

2. When I only eat a bite out of whatever is on my plate that isn't salad or something as good for me, I wind up throwing out good food...remember the "starving children in Southeast Asia" that our parents (and Baby in Dirty Dancing) always remind us of....sigh

So what is the right thing to do in this situation? Just take a tiny bit & then have people see you back on the food line again...nope, not the answer. Eat a tiny bit then raid the fridge when you get home...nope not the answer either. I hope to figure this out & soon....till then please keep your nose out of my dinner plate.... Please?

~Karen

The Anti-Jared: Self Hat..I mean Lovered.

I've mentioned before that I am a big fan of weight loss blogs and have read some from beginning to end when I've stumbled across them. This is one that I've always found inspiration in. I thought this post was excellent and reminded me of something I once heard that went something like this "would you ever talk to your best friend the way that you talk to yourself - the meaness, the insults, the harsh critical comments? The answer is probably no. So, why then is it okay for our "inner voice" to talk to ourselves like that?"

The Anti-Jared: Self Hat..I mean Lovered.: "Over the last two years , I have been called some mean names. Narcissistic, stupid, jerk, self-serving, rude, mean, bald, short, and yes, e..."

So, be proud of yourself and be kind to yourself - if you don't do it, who else will? :)