A long time away....

Well, it's been too long - way, way too long - since any of us have updated here....and the scale shows that!

It's amazing what happens when you enter total denial - especially when you know better.  In early January, Jess joined WW's and was having success on the new P+ plan, so Laurie and I joined on 1/30/11.  My initial weight was no suprise - I had gained a lot from the time I stopped blogging in September.  But, coming back here, and seeing my old weights, truly hurt.  I started WW's at 191.6!!!  That is now my highest weight, non-pregnant, ever - not a goal I was shooting for.  As of Sunday, our 3rd wi, I was down to 185 - so, a loss of 6.6 pounds in 3 weeks - which is really excellent for me.  Today, at home, I'm at 184.2 - and I'm thrilled.  But, I had just said to Laurie on Sunday that what I struggle with is mentally beating myself up that right now all I am doing is fighting to get myself to a weight that I was at just a few short months ago - that pisses me off.  I know....I do know....that I need to let it go, I know I'm on the right track, it's what I'm doing now that counts....blah, blah, blah....I'm still pissed.  My lowest weight while doing this blog, was, I think, 181.6 - though I've lost over 7 lbs, I'm still almost 3 pounds heavier than that now - so, yes, that pisses me off.  I think it's partly because I wasn't at this new high for long (thank god) so the reality of it never had time to sink in.  I know from tracking that my lowest weight in all of 2010 was 180.8 - there is a part of me that won't really feel successful or proud until I'm below that - stupid, I know.  I could be going in the other direction, but I'm not - I'm working hard.  But, I'm still pissed.  Right now my only goal is to hit my 10% (172.6) which I hope to do in early April - it will be over 3 years since I've been down that low and I have a closet full of clothes waiting for me.  But, first I need to get past the mental block of being pissed off...

On another note, what I am proud of is the gym!  I have consistently been going to the gym for 7 weeks now - through snow, sleet, rain, 8 degree temperatures, etc., - I have been getting up at 5:20 am and hitting the gym (6:45 on weekends).  I go 5 to 6 times a week and hit the treadmill for 35 to 45 minutes (with one long endurance day on Sunday's - usually up to an hour or more at a steady pace).  The rest of the days I do intervals (alternating between a fast pace and a high incline, and now I've added running).  Next week I'll start the C25K program - we are doing the Revlon 5k in memory of my sister on 4/30 and my goal is run at least half, if not more.  Two days a week I do strength training and every time I do stretching and sit ups (ugh!).  It's down right odd how much I'm enjoying it - while I hate getting up, I love going at that time of day and I always feel better after I go - even my knee pain and headaches have subsided a lot!

Lastly, I wanted to comment on the new P+ plan - sometimes I hate reading the ww's boards because I just don't get it - there are people who are miserable on the new plan and say that they are not losing or even - gah! - gaining!  I just don't get how that's possible.  To maintain my weight or gain, I know I was eating over 2,000 calories a day - now I'm eating anywhere from 1200 to 1500 - so, I'm losing.  And losing well!  How are they gaining?  No matter what your points, it comes down to calories in vs calories out.....!  But, I like it - I hated momentum - 22 points a day felt like nothing - I felt like I was always playing games to stretch it out.  Now, I feel like I have enough to be satisfied - yes, some of my favorites went up in points....so, guess what?  I need to make better choices!  I can't exsist off all carbs now - and that's such a good thing!  I always eat my AP's and most of my WP's (I try to leave 20 or so but that doesn't always happen) and my average weight loss has been 2.2 pounds a week - ta da!!  Now that rocks!  I am usually not such a big "loser" - the one time I was really succesful on ww's my average was only 1.7 lbs a week - so, I do expect this to slow down a bit - but for now, I'm thrilled to wi and I really like the new plan.  I used to have my 100 calorie coffee cakes for breakfast everyday - at 1 pt, what a bargain!  But, of course, just because they are 100 calories it doesn't mean they were 100 of the right kind of calories!  But, at 3 points now, I haven't had them since I started.  So, now breakfast is oatmeal, or a light Thomas WW english muffing with a tsp of peanut butter - 4 points and soooooo much better of a choice!  :) 

Vacation depression

Well back from vacation and depressed. Being in Florida where it is friggen hot and humid wasn't able to do as much walking as I would like.......so I am back to my weight that I started with! I also missed not being on the beach and getting tons of beach walks in!! I gained 3 lbs this vacation.......I ate, I drank, I snacked and I totally enjoyed myself until I got on the scale. So now back to the drawing board..........and start all over! Went to the supermarket yesterday and got healthier choices than I normally do, apple slices, fat free jello, pineapple and banana's for Mark and salad. Hoping to get more walking in and maybe I will actually get to the gym! I really want to get a bicycle and start riding that and then work myself up to riding it to work.....3 miles, I should! Going to get to the farmers market and buy some straw, blue and rasberry's and make some frostee's......not smoothies because I do not like yogurt, just berries and ice cubes!!! Well, looking forward to a better week next week!