5k Walk today

Well, I am getting ready to do this walk and I actually think I will beat my time of 52.00.09 from last year.......nice to have dreams! I think I am about 10 lbs heavier than last year and haven't walked more than an average of 5,000 steps a day! Just hoping I don't make a total ass of myself today! They are changing the route a little and doing more time on the track.....you know I will be watching the time as I walk (RUN) on the track!!! Well, good luck to me and I will post how I do!!! Miss you guys......we really need to get back to this!!!!

It's Hump Day...

And boy, what a hump it feels like today. Usually my weeks fly by. This one, however, not so much. It is draggggggggggggggging.

This morning I weighed myself, as I do every morning. Yes, I know this brings up the argument "You shouldn't do it everyday." "You should only weigh yourself once a week." But, I find weighing myself everyday helps keep me on track. When I see the numbers going down everyday, that gives me the push I need to eat well and exercise that day, to keep the momentum going. However, today kind of made me EH. Yes, I was down 8 oz. from yesterday. And, as many will say, at least it's not a gain. But, it's only 8 oz. To me, that's just EH.

I blame the M&Ms yesterday. It's their fault (not mine for eating them). But, I started PMSing, and they were there, and they were just what I needed. But, after seeing the 8 oz loss, today I feel like I don't need them so much. I need to lose the weight, not have yummy little chocolate candy coated deliciousness... STOP!!!

Oh, and 2 down this week for the elliptical! Did my 20 minutes, AND I kicked up the intensity a bit. Tonight I think I may try and extra 5 minutes!

Goooooooooooooooooal!

No, I'm not trying to get a rousing game of soccer going. I am finally setting realistic (I think) goals for myself in this weight loss thing.

Goal 1 - Do the elliptical for 20 minutes 5 days this week. Last week I was able to do 3 days (in a row) and was mad at myself for not doing more. So, we are going for 5 this week. Not unrealistic...

Goal 2 - Lose 100 lbs by 10/05/11. That will be 1 year from my wedding, and it is 1 year and 8 days from now. I think if I really put my mind to it I can get there (or pretty close).
There you go... My goals.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to lose I go!

TGI... OH WHAT'S THE USE TODAY

So, yesterday we had our "Birthday Luncheon" at work, which makes it very hard to be good. I started at the end of the table, doing well by taking 1/2 a plate of salad (dressing already on it, but what can you do). But, as I moved down things got worse and worse... ziti parm (took a little), chicken piccatta (small piece), eggplant something cheesey (took a small little square), 1 meatball. I didn't even take a roll! So , I thought I was doing OK. THEN came the Coldstone ice cream cake. Well, that was a small piece as well (splitting 1 cake between 40 people tends to do that). But still...

So then, we went right to the grocery store after work (did VERY well there, for the most part. Eric on the other hand...). It seemed like a good idea, but that prolonged dinner (and I was REALLY excited to make my spaghetti squash). So, when we got home it turned into "rush and find something." I did ok there too, with chopped veggies. But... afterward is a different story. I SWEAR those apple cider donuts were taunting me. I had to shut them up by eating them. GRRRRRRR!

And, to make matters worse, I didn't do the elliptical. Now, this was the first night after doing it 3 in a row, so the break was deserved. But, I am completely attributing the lack of exercise to eating crappily. When I know I am getting on there, I know that I should be eating healthy to go with it (down 3 lbs since Monday, BTW!). But last night, knowing I wasn't going on didn't make me think to be healthy. There is a major change I need to make!

Fast forward to today... Up .2lbs from yesterday after eating junk. Not horrible. Of course, I am trying to be better today. I am a little disappointed in myself as I have already consumed an approximate 20 pts. But, there is still the rest of the day to be better. AND, I am getting on that elliptical tonight if it kills me!!!!

It's the Little Things...

I need to make this quick, but I am proud. After only using our elliptical machine twice, for 5 then 10 minutes, I was pretty bummed. Why did I waste my money on this is I couldn't use it. Well, shockingly, I COULD! I just had to put some effort in and wrap my head around it. I finally did that yesterday... And stayed on for 20 minutes! That may not seem like a lot, but that is 20 minutes more exercise than I was doing this time last week or the week before. And, it didn't suck. AND, I felt awesome after. AND, I want to do it again tonight (while watching the Biggest Loser, I might add.

It's the little things... But put together those little things will make a big difference!!

Not sure what to think.......

So I get on the scale this morning and it reads 182.5, not sure if I can believe it. OK, I haven't weighed in for 3 weeks but I haven't really been watching what I eat, except for the past week, I have been pretty good. I started my new gym routine and I seem to like it, waking up at my normal time, going to the gym and then getting to work an hour later than normal. The bad part was going to the gym yesterday, 20 minutes on the treadmill and then 20 minutes working on my arms and shoulders then having to bowl last night. By the third game that ball was so heavy it wasn't funny but I think I bowled a 147 that game.......not bad!!!! Well, I will keep doing what I have been doing and the scale will tell if this weeks weigh in was a fluke!!!

Anybody out there....??

Sorry, I know that I've been MIA for awhile - with the start of school/work, I've been in a funk and that has most definitely affected my game plan.  I don't like the job I have, which I took after getting laid off from the worlds most perfect job for a working Mom, but this year I especially hate what I'm doing (after a great year last year).  So, I've been wallowing for awhile.  I took this job in hopes that it would lead to an office position, but I don't think that will ever happen and I think it's time to look for something else - but, then that brings up all sorts of issues, like I don't want to work full time yet and what do I about the summer and school breaks?  So, do I just deal with being bored, miserable and making no money because it's better for Con in the long run?  I don't know.  But, I hate dreading going to work, I hate people watching me to make sure PA stuff doesn't interfere with my job (which it always does) and losing the flexibility I had last year IF PA stuff did interfere.  180 days of work doesn't sound like a lot, but it is when you are unhappy....  So, I've been depressed and miserable and that has equalled not watching what I've been eating and no walking.  I don't know what to do about facing a miserable year, but I do know that sabotaging my own plan isn't really productive.

So, moving on - time to get back on track.  But, where the heck is everyone else?  No updates, no reports, no weigh in's....hello????   Ka', how have you been doing - and where is your victory post about your shopping experience?  Laurie - weigh in?  How are you doing??  Jess - have you gotten started with South Beach yet?  Any weigh in's??

C'mon, post - share- encourage!!!  Let's go!  Hmmm....we should meet to walk, too, especially now that it's supposed to cool off....we could always go to track one night, right???

As Conor used to say "How you doin'?"  :)  Let's motivate!! 

Quote "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten"

So, unless this is the best you want, it's time to shake it up!  :)

PS

This may be TMI but... I pulled my pants up and down without unbuttoning them today! That is my gauge on doing well. When I am losing they slide up or down without the aid of the button. If I am staying/gaining I must button/unbutton.

YAY!

URG!!!!!!

I have been stressing a lot lately. That means I have been stress eating a lot lately. I have been sad a lot lately. That means I have been emotionally eating. A few good things have happened lately, which means I have been celebrating lately.

These are things I need to work on getting in check. A cookie may make me feel better for that moment, but will not in the long run. Actually, that damn cookie winds up causing me more stress and sadness down the road. And whatever I am celebrating tends to be overshadowed by the "Uh, I am not fitting into anything and have nothing to wear" feeling.

I have been getting myself ready to start doing the South Beach Diet. It may sound weird to have to get yourself "ready". But, there are so many things I need to start incorporating in, and just as many that I need to take out, of my diet at first that it actually takes some planning. Sitting down and making a menu for the first two weeks (a throwback to my mom!) was fun and exciting and actually got me pumped to start. However, I have this stupid mindset that I MUST get rid of. It keeps telling me (especially when we go out) "Oh, well eat what you want now because the diet starts on Sunday!" Why do I sabotage myself like that? Why give myself more work to do.

And that makes me sad too... Think I'll have... A CUP OF TEA! :)

The more things change...

The more they stay the same....and that's where I am now, staying the same.  I am momentarily feeling frustrated and discouraged, but the saner part of me will soon take over and commence with pep talks, etc.  But for now, I'm annoyed - no change on the scale from last week.  Argh.  Argh. Groan. Whine.  I know the biggest problem is coming back from vacation, no matter how small, and getting back into a routine.  I didn't track everything and I haven't walked all week.  I can come up with a 1,000 excuses but excuses won't get the job done - and you know what?  I know better.  Much better.  I've been here before.  I will say that one issue for me is counting calories - after years of WW's and thinking in points, it's been hard for me to adjust to calories.  The program that I use gives me 1,376 calories a day for a weight loss target of 1.5 lbs per week.  If I exercise, I can eat the calories burned if I want (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't).  Those calories go fast.   For example, one day last week I had my coffee (with real milk), a package of hostess 100 cal crumb cakes at about 9, cheerios with 1% milk at around 11:30, a tablespoon of pb on light wheat bread around 2 pm, and a package of hostess 100 calorie cup cakes at around 4:30 - eating every few hours keeps me from feeling hungry and it doesn't seem like it was alot - but, that was was almost half my calories for the day, leaving me with about 650 for dinner and night snacks (because I am a night snacker and need to leave some calories for that).   So, I need to think of my calories like a bank and think of ways to make smaller withdrawals (use less calories).  Of course, I do know that fruit and veggies would be less calories and more filling, but I'm still a work in progress there - I can't force myself to eat what I don't like, that would only make this whole process so much harder.  I can keep trying, though, and I will.

So much of weight loss is mental and can be such a head game.  But, I will say that I went out with some co-workers and one, who is a few years older than me, has been doing WW's and working out at the gym religiously - she looks AMAZING.  Everyone was complimenting her on how awesome she looked.  And you know what?  I am willing to admit that I am vain enough to want to be her - I want those commpliments and I want to feel proud of what I've accomplished.  And that is just one more thing that will keep me on this path - yes, good health is the real payoff, but a "wow, you look amazing" never hurts!!  :)

A little better..........

Well, I will say it wasn't my best eating week but also not the worst. I have been feeling miserable the last 2 days, (summer allergies, cold......who knows) so there was no walking. On the good side......I did lose weight this week. Eventhough my eating wasn't great I was watching portion control!!!! Lost 1.5 lbs, no the trick is to keep it off, lose a little more and not gain any back! Luckily my birthday is next Friday, so after I weigh myself I can indulge that day and get back on track on Saturday!!! I see a drink and cake in my future!!!! Well, I hope you all had good weeks as well!!!

Short but sweet....

Well, we are already home from vacation - so short, but so wonderful!  I did jump on the scale today and it says that I am up 2 lbs but I am not concerned - first, that time of the month decided to arrive yesterday (sorry, TMI for any guys reading this - but, hey, get 5 women together and this is what you are going to get!)  Second, I didn't really eat that off track and we walked our butts off - my steps since Thursday are:

Thursday         11,253    (3006 aerobic)
Friday             16,288    (5153 aerobic)
Saturday          18,512    (6398 aerobic)
Sunday            15.511    (6199 aerobic)
Monday           10,729    (4177 aerobic)

So, if anything, I am at least proud of all the walking we did!  I know the scale will work itself out by WI in on Friday.  I am not totally on track for my first goal and that does concern me a little bit, so I need to find a way to kick things up a notch.  Overall, though, vacation was what it should have been and I am good with that.  I think I might go to the track tonight to walk, if anyone wants to come along...  :)  Have a great day, make good choices and smile because you know you are in control and a month from now, will be celebrating how successful you've been!

purging....the closets.

Glad everyone has enjoyed their vacations. I wish we could keep Summer here a few weeks more. I totally love the warm weather & sunshine. Not looking forward to the colder weather, snow and being trapped in the house. (Yes that's the reason we're starting to think about making a move South)

This past week was a successful one for me. 2.8 lbs down. Hate dealing with the point whatever. So I just round it down. This makes my total so far 86 lbs.

I've promised myself that at 90 lbs I will once again purge my wardrobe. This time of all my size 26/28 shirts that now hang on me like a flag from a pole. Now I'm entering a situation though where I will not have very much to chose from. I've worn that size for so long that there isn't much else in the drawers. So my dear friends I ask that you not think I'm wearing the same smelly shirt over and over. I promise it will be clean, but I don't intend to go on a big shopping spree just yet. Not planning on staying in my now size 16 (ish) shirts for all that long. Size 16 was my goal for my b'day, but with some luck (and very hard work), I'll blow right by that size by then. Now if only my thighs & butt would get on board with this plan....LOL

~Karen

Vacation depression

Well back from vacation and depressed. Being in Florida where it is friggen hot and humid wasn't able to do as much walking as I would like.......so I am back to my weight that I started with! I also missed not being on the beach and getting tons of beach walks in!! I gained 3 lbs this vacation.......I ate, I drank, I snacked and I totally enjoyed myself until I got on the scale. So now back to the drawing board..........and start all over! Went to the supermarket yesterday and got healthier choices than I normally do, apple slices, fat free jello, pineapple and banana's for Mark and salad. Hoping to get more walking in and maybe I will actually get to the gym! I really want to get a bicycle and start riding that and then work myself up to riding it to work.....3 miles, I should! Going to get to the farmers market and buy some straw, blue and rasberry's and make some frostee's......not smoothies because I do not like yogurt, just berries and ice cubes!!! Well, looking forward to a better week next week!

Weigh in and adios...

Well, the weigh in for today was that I was down a pound.  I am happy with that but sometimes I feel like a turtle in the land of rabbits....I do know that in the end, the turtle going slow and steady does win the race.  I only get frustrated because I also know that the beginning is where you lose the the quickest - so, if I'm already losing slow, what will it be like a few months from now?  I'm happy, trust me - I'd rather see the scale move downward, no matter how much, then not at all - or...horrors...move up!  But, some people lose 5 lbs in a week - I can't seem to do it in three weeks!  But, being honest, I know that I also thwart my own progress - not tracking yesterday because I was so busy, not walking the past two days, etc.

But, moving onward and upward (well, in this case *downward*), we are leaving this afternoon for a few days at the beach.  I'm not worried about staying on course on vacation.  First, it's vacation - I'm not going to stress.  Second, I plan to be very active - swimming, walks on the beach, etc.    The worst part for me will be drinking - but, again, it is vacation and a drink or two is going to happen.  We'll see where the scale is Tuesday and go from there.  Fingers crossed for good weather and a fun time - we haven't been away since 2006 so we really need this.  My son is so excited he couldn't go to sleep last night!  :)   Also fingers crossed that my *girls* (our two labs) are okay - I hate leaving them home when we go away (yes, I'm *that* kind of dog mom!) but I know we have lots of people checking on them and they are truly happier here than in a kennel.

Okay, gotta run - I've had my 10 minute root touch up on for about 30 minutes now so lets hope my hair is not orange!  :)  Have a great weekend!!

Reality Check

Just looking in the mirror, or trying to squeeze into my jeans should have been a reality check. But, as you all know, it wasn't. There was excuse after excuse, and "good" reasons, and anything else you could think of for not taking care of myself. But all of those excuses have kept me at 260 lbs. for awhile. And none of them were worth it really.

But, I finally got my reality check. My doctor called to tell me that my blood work showed that I have high cholesterol. Now, this shouldn't really be a shock. Actually, it wasn't, really. I see what I eat everyday. I know what I do and don't do physically. So, I figured that it would be high. But hearing the actual words come out of her mouth struck something in me.

So I went out and walked today. I honestly didn't watch what I ate all that well. But I did something physical. It wasn't long and it wasn't far, but I did it. And that made me happy.

I also ordered the books to start the South Beach Diet. THAT made me very happy. Not only for the weight loss, and controlling the cholesterol, but because it's a start to something good. I have tried many others that have worked here and there, but nothing significant. My doctor had suggested this, since it is also a good diet for someone with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome).

I haven't been this excited, or happy (or tired, to be honest) in awhile. But guess what... This reality check was sooo worth it. :)

all eyes on you

Ok what do you do when you're going to a "party" type setting. Everyone knows you're on a diet and you know that when you sit down to eat all eyes are on you and what's on your plate and how much you're actually putting in your mouth. It really sucks!!!

I make the mistake every time of taking food and then only taking a bite out of it. I feel so bad for two reasons:

1. People see what's on my plate and assume that I AM actually going to eat all of it. Then they doubt my sincerity to this journey that I'm on (trying not to call it a diet anymore). Talk does have a way of getting back to you on what Great Aunt Lucy said about how much of her lasagna you piled on your plate....sigh

2. When I only eat a bite out of whatever is on my plate that isn't salad or something as good for me, I wind up throwing out good food...remember the "starving children in Southeast Asia" that our parents (and Baby in Dirty Dancing) always remind us of....sigh

So what is the right thing to do in this situation? Just take a tiny bit & then have people see you back on the food line again...nope, not the answer. Eat a tiny bit then raid the fridge when you get home...nope not the answer either. I hope to figure this out & soon....till then please keep your nose out of my dinner plate.... Please?

~Karen

The Anti-Jared: Self Hat..I mean Lovered.

I've mentioned before that I am a big fan of weight loss blogs and have read some from beginning to end when I've stumbled across them. This is one that I've always found inspiration in. I thought this post was excellent and reminded me of something I once heard that went something like this "would you ever talk to your best friend the way that you talk to yourself - the meaness, the insults, the harsh critical comments? The answer is probably no. So, why then is it okay for our "inner voice" to talk to ourselves like that?"

The Anti-Jared: Self Hat..I mean Lovered.: "Over the last two years , I have been called some mean names. Narcissistic, stupid, jerk, self-serving, rude, mean, bald, short, and yes, e..."

So, be proud of yourself and be kind to yourself - if you don't do it, who else will? :)

It's not the heat....

it's the damn humidity!!  I love summer, truly I do - but it has been so humid lately and that I can not take at all.  One of the pitfalls of my self-confessed scale obsession is that when it's humid out, it affects the scale (for me).  It's showing a loss from my official WI on Friday, but these past three days, it's been creeping up a tiny bit - though, I've been 100% on track and working out.  I know it has to do with retaining water (sorry, TMI....but, hey, that's life...) as I can just feel it...so, I'm going to try and up my water intake to see if that actually helps.  With the way my belly feels, I'm surprised I'm not looking at a 5 lb gain on the scale!   But, seeing the scale jump around, even if it's only in a less than half pound range, is annoying and frustrating.  But, this too shall pass.  Official WI, for better or worse, for me will be on Thursday this week as we'll heading to the beach Thursday afternoon and not coming back until Monday.  (woot!!!) 

Seriously, though, I am done with the humidity.  This has been one of the hottest summers on record and within the past couple of weeks, it hasn't rained at all.  What happened to those summer thunderstorms?    Okay, I'll take that back - while I would love some rain (as would my grass), we're leaving our girls (our black lab Molly and yellow lab Maggie - oh, and Bailey the cat) home with various pet sitters while we go away - knowing my luck it will thunderstorm while we are away, leaving them in the dark with no ac (happened to poor Molly once before!)  So, rain is good - just not while I am away and already worrying about them!

While I love summer, especially not working in the summer, I am excited for Fall to get here.  I love walking outside in the fall, going pumpkin and apple picking - with my asthma issues, it is so much easier to be active in the fall.  It is also easier for cooking purposes - my husband works outside in this heat so most days he does not want the stove on and has no desire to grill (I can't blame him).  So, while we do salads, we also eat out a lot which is always a risky situation. 

Well, I need to start getting things ready for our mini-vacation - and put my disappointment in the scale behind me and continue to look forward!  :)

Joining the "club"...

Thanks girls for letting me join the "club".

I'm now starting my 8th month of this diet. It's really, really hard. But I am determined to do this one day at a time. I know to think of exactly how long I'll realistically have to be on this diet will totally depress me, so if I can just get through today..or even this hour...I'm happy. Then on Monday when John & I "weigh in" I'm usually happy enough to go on for another week. I'm honestly in the middle of my journey. 83 1/2 LBS. down. I'd like another 80 to leave (preferably from my thighs...LOL).

Alot of short term goals have been met so far being able to buckle the car seat belt, not needing the seat belt extension on the airplane, being able to walk 3 miles without collapsing. All feel real great, but there are still many, many more goals that I can't wait to reach. Such as 100 LBS. by my birthday! And so.....I raise a rice cake to all of you that share my path!

~Karen

My love/hate relationship with the gym....

I have a love/hate relationship with the gym in our town – luckily, it’s about 80% love and 20% hate. I love that it’s cheap (woot!) and I love that it has tons of cardio equipment! I have never, ever had to wait for a treadmill, which is always a good thing, to me at least. I don’t love that at certain time’s it’s filled with 16 to 20 year old guys who are just there to show off or whatever. Like the guy who was on some machine I will never use in my life and kept slamming the weights down, causing the whole building to shake! (yeah, Mister, I’m talking about YOU!) I mean….really? But overall it’s a great, no frills place to get a workout in. I don’t get to go as often as I’d like, needless to say. During the month of July I could go in the mornings while my son was at summer enrichment and meet up with a friend or two (that’s the other blessing/curse of this gym – it’s still relatively new, it’s cheap and it’s in the center of town – so there are lots of people you know at times. So, sometimes it’s hard to accomplish all that you want to because there are people stopping by to chat…) Anyway, I digress….(which I do a lot…) My friends and I would hit the treadmills and chat and next thing you knew, an hour would be gone. But, after 4 weeks, summer enrichment is over and my son is home all day and not old enough to be left alone yet. My husband leaves for work at 6 am, and I’m just not that committed that I could get up at 5 am when I don’t have to. So, right now I manage to get there 2 to 3 times a week and the other days I walk outside either in the mornings or in the evenings – and I always aim to get 10,000 steps on my pedometer. Once my son goes back to school and I go back to work, I’ll figure out a new plan that will involve more gym time. But for right now, this is working. (there’s also swimming, playing with my son and some Wii Fit in there – as long as I move, every day!!)



Anyway, today is a quiet, lazy Sunday at our house, so I went to the gym. I do love Sunday afternoons there, as it’s pretty empty. I had been on the treadmill for about 20 minutes or so when I noticed a girl and two guys come in. I don’t usually try to watch others, and I am definitely not trying to be judgmental, but even with my iPod I get bored on the treadmill and I can’t help but people watch a little…. Now, all three of them were young and very large (which is another good thing about this gym – lots of different shapes and sizes, so you don’t feel out of place or uncomfortable). I noticed they had gone on the elliptical machines and after 5 minutes, the girl got off and went to the juice bar. They sell fruit smoothie type drinks I believe (I’ve never tried them) and they had jars of different powders so I’m assuming they were some kind of protein or health drinks. She proceeded to order one and sit down and drink it. I realize I don’t know her at all and I have no business judging her – but, it made me sad. You are in a gym – why are you sitting there drinking a smoothie rather than working out? I don’t know her story – maybe she’s never worked out and is taking it slow? Maybe she is recovering from something and can’t work out much? I don’t know and it’s not my business. After 15 minutes, the guys got off, she finished they all walked downstairs, which is where the serious weight lifting room is, as well as the ladies gym….oh…and the exit. I don’t want to assume that they left, but that’s what it seemed like. And it made me sad. When you are in a place where the stars and moons have aligned and you “get it”, you want everyone else to “get it” too. You want them to know that they CAN do it, they WILL do it and it’s really not so hard – it’s even fun to a certain point. And seeing results? Awesome – words can’t describe it. But those rewards come with the sweat that was pouring down me at the gym (yeah, I sweat a lot…it’s gross). It doesn’t come with 5 minutes on the elliptical and a fruit smoothie. If it did, everyone would be fit.

So, she made me sad. And reminded me that it takes hard work to get where you want to go. I hope that I see her at the gym again. I hope that she looks like a rock star. I just hope that she “gets it”.


To quote Jillian Michaels "Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bulls**t."


And that ladies and gents, is exactly the plan!   :)

Trying to plan....

Today was a typical summer Saturday at our house...that means the pool, friends (or family), food and liquor. I had woken up to find a 1 lb loss on the scale from Friday, which was a nice surprise - and while it's not "official" and I know how we fluctuate from day to day, I still wanted to try to not blow it. Then, my hubby came home...with Dunkin' Donuts...

Yes, the glazed donut...how I love thee!!  But, I realized that part of long term/life long changes means either going without or figuring a way to work around it.  So, I had one glazed donut for 220 calories and more fat than I am comfortable with.  In a past life, I would have had 2....maybe even 3.  (True confession time - Laurie and I would stop at Dunkin Donuts sometimes after our WI in at WW's...how embarrassing!!)  So, I had one - I enjoyed it, and then....I went to the gym!  I wasn't going to let myself off the hook with just splurging on a donut - I had to work for it!  And the deal was that I had to burn off 300 calories, minimum, which I did.   I'm not trying to justify this as a way to eat crap for the rest of my life, or have a treat everyday....but just to say that sometimes, it's okay to give in....but it's never okay to just give up.  So, instead of saying "look, they're here, I'm here...it was meant to be...!!", I had a treat, I worked out and life moved on.  Maybe someday I will be that person that never touches sweets, refined sugar, etc., ever again - but, it's not today.  It's baby steps around here, all the way.  Some day Laurie, Kate and I will have to go into the kind of food we grew up on and how picky we are as eaters (well, not Kate as much...)

After the work out, and some house cleaning, I wanted a "real" breakfast so I had my usual cheerios and 1% milk (I love Cheerios, I have to admit...).  Lunch was a tablespoon of peanut butter on whole wheat bread.  For the evening, we were having friends over and on the menu were the usual hot dogs and hamburgers, but also grilled chicken, fresh corn and baked potatoes.  I made some good choices, I made some iffy choices.  Again, it was still a long way from what I would have done a month ago - and once I was done, I was done - there was no late night snacking tonight.  (which is a huge victory for me - I am a HUGE late night snacker).  Normally, I save some calories for the night snack, and keep it smaller than it used to be.  But, tonight was the first time where I said "I know I'm full, that's enough".  I didn't want to eat *just to eat* when I know I probably went over my calorie intake for today.  Because I ate a large meal, which I haven't been doing lately, with a lot of sodium in it, I know the scale may be ugly in the morning.  But, I also know it's just temporary...it's not a white flag saying "I can't do this"....it's a chance to say "today is a new day, what better choices can I make?"  Like taking the leftover grilled chicken and throwing it over some veggies or a salad....  :)  Bottom line is that it is what it is...and we had a great day!   I wish I could be an all or nothing kind of person, but it's not who I am....life is too short to not have the occasional glazed donut.... as long as you can find balance.

And right now, for me, balance = sleep!!

Time to go......

Ok girls, going away and I will do my best to be good. I had a .5 gain this week and hope to see it go back down and not go up! I will be doing a lot more walking, so that is a plus and will try to make good choices in eating........will post my weight when I get back! Have a good week!!!

A good day....

Yesterday was a really good day - I wish I could always be so on track. Breakfast was a 100 cal Hostess coffee cake early in the morning, with Cheerios and 1% milk later in the day. Lunch was 2 slices of light wheat with 2 slices of kraft 2% cheese melted on them. Snacks included apple slices and a sugar free jello (with cool whip). Dinner was sooooo good - we had a garlic ceasar salad with the Perdue shortcuts honey roasted chicken on top, plus a garlic breadstick. I don't really use salad dressing so the whole meal was 370 calories yet it was filling and so good. For dessert we went to Dairy Queen and I was able to have a small chocolate cone with rainbow sprinkles, then a small 100 cal pack of Doritos later that night. I ended the day 30 calories under target yet I was satisfied and not feeling deprived.

So, if I know I can have such a good day, why is it so hard to do that every day? The only negative was no exercise but its been so humid that I haven't been motivated - though, I'm still trying to get my 10,000 steps in. All in all, add in the exercise and more water and this is what I hope to accomplish every day. I know I can do it, but it's getting your head into the "I will do it" thinking that's harder. One day at a time, though....

I'm a junkie....

Well, a scale junkie that is! I weigh myself every day - I truly know better, but I do it anyway. I am the queen of research - if there is something I am interested in, or affects my life, then I throw myself into finding out all there is to know. So, I've read "Why the Scale Lies" I know the scale fluctuates all the time, for various reasons. But, my morning starts with a jump on the scale. The only time I don't do it is when I've given up or don't care anymore. Since Friday, the scale has been up and down - higher than my WI on Friday, or just a little lower. Yesterday was a bad day - I had horrible allergies all day so barely moved off the couch. My solution was to graze....all.day.long. Stupid, I know. Counterproductive, I know. But, it was comforting and made me feel better. I know I went way off track - though, not horribly as most things were my normal low-fat/low-calories stuff, and cereal ended up being my dinner...but there was chocolate in there too. So, imagine my shock when I get on the scale today and it's .8 lower than the day before. It makes me crazy! So, even if I'm on track all day today, will the scale move back up tomorrow? Who knows, but it makes me crazy....because it makes no sense! I know I should be looking at the bigger picture and only be concerned with my week, not a day, and with my Friday weigh in, not what the scale says everyday. But, I torture myself with this crap. I have both an iPhone app and a spreadsheet where I track my daily weight - why? I think when it's on a downward trend, it keeps me motivated. But, when it's moving upward, or bouncing all over, it makes me depressed. So, why do I do it? All I need to focus on is today - just for today, I need to stay on track. Just for today, I need to drink my water. And just for today, I need to think about the bigger picture.

Being so oddly anal, I do have a record of my lowest weights over the past 8 years from my many attempts at WW's and these are my mini-milestones that I would like to get to. The first one is only 5 lbs away - totally do-able, right? Here they are -

178.8 on 9/25/05
176.8 on 12/31/06
174.8 on 4/19/06
174.2 on 5/29/05
169.8 on 2/6/05 (will move to "overweight" bmi)
166.4 on 9/19/04
162.2 on 7/4/04
150.8 on 1/28/03

(For the record, this is only WW's weights - I did get down to 160 in 2008 on my own - so I have seen most of those numbers since the dates listed above. But, again, I'm just using my 8 ww's books for this).

Oh - and edited to add....my lowest weight in 2010 has only been 180.8, so, I'm hoping to beat that number by the end of the month. Seriously, enough with the 180's...kicking you to the curb for good! :)

I need to set up little rewards for myself along the way (even though some of them are only 2lbs away from each other). What are your little goals going to be and how will you reward yourself? (obviously, better health and lower weight is a reward in itself, but it's fun to have a prize to keep your eye on! :)

The hardest part of the day.........

is Monday through Friday from 7:30am to 3:30pm.......all I want to do is eat, eat and eat some more (not s'mores......but they do sound good!)! Today I had cereal for breakfast, 2 - 100 cal snack pack, box of raisins, pasta salad for lunch and 1 hard boiled egg w/no yolk.......and I am starving! I am busy during this time but all I want to do is eat and think about eating! This drives me insane. So I eat something little thinking it will go away but it doesn't. I wish there was a magic pill to make this go away but there isn't. Luckily when I went to 7-11 I didn't buy anything bad because I would be digging into that now......also Pauline was with me and I knew better becuase she would take it away. The plus side is that we did 1 lap at Votee in 22 minutes and I have 2711 aerobic steps today.....good for me. Working inventory later so I know I will not get a walk in! So I guess I will have a mint, sucker or lollipop and get back to work and try not to think about food. I have some watermelon and will try to wait till 3 pm to have that!!! Good luck to me!!!!

The three hardest words to say...

No, not the three words you might be thinking of....nothing as mushy and sweet as "I love you". For me, the 3 hardest words to say are "No, thank you". I think part of it is that I'm a "people pleaser" - I like to see everyone happy and if saying yes to something I know I should have makes someone happy, I'll do it. I also think part of it is not accepting the reality of being overweight (technically, obese - but I can't wrap my head around that). I don't "feel" obese, if that makes sense - I know I have tons of clothes I can't wear, some that I felt I totally rocked 20 lbs ago...but, I still think I have this disconnect from reality. So, it's hard to say no to something when you don't fully grasp how much work there is to do. I mean, I see the numbers - I'm a huge numbers person so I have iPhone apps, graphs, charts....you name it. I have goals and projections, fully aware of when I should hit goals and milestones...yetI still have a hard time accepting that this is my reality. My husband is naturally thin and a part of me that "forgets" I can't keep up with him - and sometimes, I just need to say "no, thank you" when it comes to something he can have/do that I shouldn't/can't. For example, on Saturday, after a long hike/walk, we went to Ben & Jerry's - I had every intention of getting yogurt (at least it was better than ice cream) but when Mike ordered me the regular ice cream, I didn't speak up. Then the woman said "two scoops, right" and I should have said "No, thank you - one is fine)....but, I didn't. I knew I was consuming 400+ calories of ice cream but I couldn't speak those words. (for the record, I only went over for the day by 68 calories! :) I guess I feel like saying "no, thank you" is like wearing a scarlet letter that says "watch out, she's obese - do not feed her!!" Yes, I have many, many issues which is why I'm still in the shape that I am in. But, I'm becoming more aware and I'm ready to start finding my voice...it's a painful journey at times, though.

And today's excuse is...

I always have struggled with my weight. As a kid, into my teens, into my 20's, and especially now getting into my (GULP!) 30's. There has always been an excuse for the weight gain, and an excuse to not lose it. These days the excuses are dating my boyfriend (when we got together we would eat out all the time, and I didn't care about letting myself go) and my asthma (I'm afraid to exert myself becasue what if I have an attack). The latter is especially silly, since I was diagnosed as asthmatic AFTER I gained the weight!

I had convinced myself that as soon as my boyfriend proposed and I had that ring on my finger I would kick my weight loss into gear. Well, that happened 3 weeks ago (July 10th), and I have GAINED 3 lbs. since! If anything should give me reason to want to lose weight (you know, besides actually being helathy!), an impending wedding should be it. No, not so much.

Don't get me wrong. As I type this my mind is going "Really, now you need to start getting your butt into gear- literally." But, will I be thinking that when I go out to dinner with friends later at Rutt's Hutt (deep fried hot dogs anyone), or when we are cutting into ice cream cake for a friend's birthday?

I need will power. I need my new fiancee to want to help me with this. But really, I need to get off my a$$ and start doing something. I bought a bike 3 months ago. I rode it around the block the day I got it. It has sat in the garage since. Again, my excuse is "It's too hot out." Ok, well what is the excuse for not using the eliptical we HAD TO HAVE, which sits in my air conditioned living room?!

I am tired of panting going up one flight of stairs. I am tired of swelling up every night. I am tired of being tired.

Bridal Boot Camp start now... Ok, maybe tomorrow...

Definition of success....

dI belong to SparkPeople though to be honest, I never really use it - I do read the message boards, success stories and get email updates from the site. I received an email today that has article that really hit home...

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=454

Part of the article says:

According to the study in the Archives of Internal Medicine, the average "Dream" weight loss is 38% of the dieter’s current weight. Also:

a 31% weight loss would make the average dieter "Happy"
a 25% weight loss would be "Acceptable".
And most disturbing of all,
a 15.7% weight loss would be "Disappointing".
So the 200-pound woman who loses 30 pounds would actually be disappointed in her results!

I have 30% of my weight to lose - thinking about it in terms of percentages, if I think about only losing 15.7%, I would be disappointed, as it's just over half of what I need to lose. But, realistically, that's almost 30 lbs and would have me at 156 lbs....how can that be disappointing? No, it's not goal, but it's a lot less of me and it's a lot healthier. It definitely makes it clear that we are prone to want all or nothing, which is a shame. When it comes to weight loss, I think looking at the bigger picture can be overwhelming and daunting. But, going for smaller goals seems more doable - and the rewards, in terms of health and self-esteem, are just as important. So, my first goal will be 10% - that will be 18.6 lbs and put me at 167.4. Sure, it's not 130, not yet...but it's not 186 either. It's down a size or two and it's achievable...one day at a time. I would *like* to reach that goal by October 1st but as long as I'm headed there, I'm good with that. A measly 10%....I can do that! :)

New find....(well, new to me!)

I'm probably a little late in the game here, but when I was at PathMark with my son, I spotted this -



Special K Protien water mix! Now, I'm not saying that protien and fiber should mostly come from what you drink - I do believe it should come from what you eat. But, being I know that I don't get enough of either during the day, and I hate drinking water, and will only drink water that has been flavored, I figured it can't hurt to try it. Not as a replacement for what I should be eating, but just a little extra of what my body needs on this journey. It does add 30 calories to the water, but no fat and 5 g's each of protein and fiber! :) I wish I was one of those who loved water - the teacher I worked with last year would drink at least three 16 oz bottles during the day - and that's just what she drank at work!! So, if flavoring my water helps me get it in, I'm all for it. I tried the pink lemonade and it's great - expensive, though, so I would look for sales or online for better prices. Normally I don't use the whole packet when flavoring water but with this I did (though they are triple the size of the 4C one's I normally use) and it's perfect!!

In addition to that, I also purchased the Special K chocolate delight cereal. I've mentioned before that late night snacking is a huge downfall for me and I also have a major (MAJOR) sweet tooth. I'm going to try this cereal when I get the late night munchies - not with milk, though. Just a serving to snack on while reading or watching TV and the urges hit! :)



hmmmm...just read some reviews of this cereal and they weren't very promising. Well, I'll try it tonight and post how I like it tomorrow! Stay tuned.... :)

Now on to get dinner ready - tonight we're having grilled thin sliced chicken breasts marinated in a lite honey mustard salad dressing. :) Yum!

It's only just begun....

This week has already been a struggle - I am one of those that finds it so much harder to lose weight in the summer than in the winter. I am definitely more active in the Summer, but my eating is so much worse. There is way too much ice cream around here for one thing, plus the BBQ's and the cocktails by the pool. Why is motivation so easy sometimes, and so hard at other times? In the winter, life is much more structured but in the summer, it's much harder to plan (at least for me!!) I think not wearing jeans in the summer hurts too - they always seem to be the one thing that I use as a "I've had it with this body" guide. This is the first summer that I officially bought clothes in a size 16 - something I swore I would never, ever do. But, here I am with shorts in size 16 and it kills me. One thing that I am looking forward to is 'closet shopping". I'm pretty sure that I've long since dumped my size 8 wardrobe but I have so many clothes in size 14 and size 12, with M tops - I can't wait to be able to pull them out and wear them again. If I get lower than that, then shopping will be the reward! I also think I'm going to buy myself a bicycle - one of those totally girly cruisers, hot pink, streamers and all! Like this...



Love it!!! It would be nice to be able to add bike riding to our family outings - I will have to be careful because of my knee(s) but I also remind myself that while my knee issues are things I was born with and can't help, losing weight would probably be a huge help.

I do try to remind myself that one ice cream or one drink is not an excuse to throw the whole day away - but, so much easier said than done....

Steps

OK, so yesterday all gung ho and was going to hit my goal of 10,000 steps. So close, realized at 11:00pm I had 9241 steps and had no ambition to walk around my house a bunch of times....today will be better, right? Wrong......I will be lucky to hit 6,000 steps. So, I tell myself now tomorrow will be much better as long as it is not too humid out!!! Let's hope!!! Maybe I will do laps around my office every hour or so and that will increase my steps! I will try that! Hope you girls are doing well!!!! P.S. I am working on my weight loss plan, haven't figured it all out yet!!

Jen's plan and pitfalls....

Since I'm the only one currently set up, I figured I'd start with some personal stuff about me - I have been married to my husband for almost 13 years, together for over 18 years. We have a 10 year old son whom I love more than life itself! :) I work as an aide in my son's school, so I'm on his schedule and off in the summers. I don't love it, though, and miss being in an office and creative on the computer - by next year, I will be looking to go back to some kind of admin job. For right now, though, this situation works well.

As for my plan....I've done WW's in the past many, many, many times. (Right, Laurie??) :) I think it's a great plan and it works, when you work it. I lost 25 lbs once, my biggest success. But, I hate counting points (there, I said it! :) I just feel at this point, if I'm going to be counting something, it may as well be calories - it's easy enough to do for the rest of my life, the formula doesn't change every few years. I truly feel that it all comes down to calories in vs calories out. I will be using an iPhone app called "Lose It" to help me. Lose it tracks your calories, your weight, your exercise, etc. I put into the application my starting weight of 186 (highest weight ever, and 2nd time I've been there), my goal weight (130 lbs - which at 5' 3" and 40 years old, works just fine for me) and how much I want to lose per week - it gives you the option of anywhere from a half pound to 2 lbs a week. I picked 1 1/2 pounds per week, so it set my calories at 1403 per day and says that I will be at goal by April 14, 2011 (which is about 8 1/2 months). If slow and steady wins the race, then I'm good with that - it's not about racing to the finish line, it's about finishing. If you exercise, it does give you back those calories to eat (so, if I burn 300 calories at the gym, I will have 1703 for that day) but I plan on that being my "cushion" - there if I need it. As for exercise, that's harder - my husband leaves for work at 6 am and is home at 4:30 - so, since it's summer, I home all day with my 10 year. I would love to be the type of person to get up at 5 am and hit the gym before Mike leaves, but that's not going to happen right now when I don't have to be up. I hate to exercise at night but I will work on that. Once school is back in session, I will work on a more formal gym routine of getting there at least 4 to 5 times a week - but for now, the plan is to just move more and hit 10,000 steps a day. For now, I will hit the gym when I can, but will find ways to move every day, whether its walking, wii fit, etc.

My biggest pitfall is late night eating - always has been, always will be. I can be on target all day and crumble at night. By 10 pm, the male occupants of the house are off to bed and it's just me, the TV and usually a great book - oh, and snacks! :( It's just boredom, emotional, stress (etc.) eating and I know that, but it's still always been a battle for me. At some point going to bed earlier might make sense, but I really love my "me" time. Finding balance will be the goal.

Another pitfall is not being a fruit and veggie person - Kate, Laurie and I come from a large Irish family where our Mom cooked to please our Dad - so, everything was bland, dried out or processed.



Some of us have broadened our horizons since then, but me, not so much. So, I will be working on that, but I do believe that no food is off limits - portion control will be a huge part of this and I truly believe in everything in moderation. I can't say that I'll never have another piece of cake or a drink - that's not fun to me. Life is about balance, not deprivation. (IMO). So, we'll see how balance, moderation, portion control, with making strides towards healthier choices, and moving more work for me.

I will also plan motivational rewards along the way, but more about that later..... :)

So, who's next? What's your plan?

Welcome to 4 to go....

If you've stumbled across this blog, please bear with us as we get our act together!  This will be the weight loss journey of 4 sisters (okay....technically, 3 sisters and a cousin, but the cousin grew up around the corner from us and has always been like a little sister, so to make things easier and less confusing, we're all sisters for the purpose of this blog!)  Some may post a lot, some a little, but we will all be sharing our journey together.  I'm Jen, who came up with this crazy idea as I have always found weight loss blogs inspiring and feel the accountability is a huge help in staying motivated.  There will be an about me/weigh in page to follow each of us on our journey, and we will all pitch in on posting our triumphs, struggles, victories and slip ups - we will also be there for each other to be cheerleaders and to give a kick in the ass when needed (feel free to join in on either!) 

For myself, I am looking at 56 lbs to lose, which at the moment feels akin to climbing Mount Everest.  But, I am tired of the clothes I cannot wear and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.  So, time to get this party started!  :)